"The Sex & the City Life = what by societal terms was ideal. Let me tell you, it was not as glamorous as many may think."
I was sick. Sick of my life. Sick of my friends. Sick of the men I was dating. Sick of the job I had. Yet everyday I found a way to cover up the pain. I had a drinking problem, frenemies galore, an unfulfilled love life, and a job that was sucking the life out of me and paying me handsomely for it, yet I was broke. My closet was full of beautiful things I could barely afford to present my façade publicly, which after the first wear, looked like a waste of money and a big mistake. Who was I trying to impress? I bought into it wholeheartedly, but the glitz and glamour were deteriorating me slowly. I was miserable.
One day while hanging out, I desperately gathered myself and went home. It was my turnaround moment. I wanted to be in the shelter of my home and away from all the toxicity I had allowed into my life. How did everything get so out of hand? A period of reflection followed. Hiatus was bliss. My inner guidance had kicked in, and I was willing to listen because I no longer wanted the life I was living. I sobered up and much like an inquisitive seven-year-old, asking WHY?, was my starting point and my fuel. Why was I doing these things if they were not making me happy?
I had to strip down all the old ideas and nonsense and answer internal questions like:
Who are you? What is your purpose? How are you going to improve your life? The life of others? The planet? I needed a hand (these are the important questions after all) so I read self-help books, the Bible, the Bhagavad-Gita, and every text that would give me some insight as to what to do next. Yes, it was a spiritual revolution.
It was time for some serious house keeping. Letting go of people who were not lifting me to higher grounds was not easy. Learning to stop making excuses and overcome the life-long victim mentality was one of the most challenging parts. Understanding how to love myself unconditionally was the other. Then, the world opened up and anything was possible.
The moment of liberation happens when you no longer care what others have to say about you or what you do, because you know there’s something majestic and larger than life supporting your every action and giving meaning to your very existence. At that point, you know what your mission is, and you are determined to push forward by any means necessary. Gratitude supports you, and brings forth more blessings. Being happy is the only thing that matters. Following a path that does not sustain your joy is unthinkable.
When we live from within, nothing from without can shake or stir us. When we are grounded in truth, we can trust our foundation to be the sturdiest and most reliable. When the inner void is filled, the material band-aids are no longer needed to determine worth or value.
Nowadays, I can be in rags, and still feel regal. My daily alcoholic drink has been replaced with my morning power smoothie. I ask “How may I be of service?” rather than “What’s in it for me?”. My attitude change has connected me with new amazing individuals, who are in synchronicity with my feelings, goals, beliefs and ideas, and who support me no matter what. I found a new job with a non-profit organization I am proud to work for and I also began my health education and life coaching business. I love what I do, and my job does not feel like work. Did I mention I am also in the most emotionally fulfilling relationship of my life? Oh, yes, happiness reigns these days.
After all my searching, it was simply about embracing the bigger picture. Basically, the world is much larger than my little self. I am still learning. There’s joy in every lesson, and a blessing around every corner. I am a proud representative of my Highest Power, and my goal is to teach others everything that I have learned. Spirit feeds me and what a feast it is! Bon Appetit.~
Erika Matos is a transformational agent, a certified health and nutrition educator, intuitive healer, and life coach helping people shift in the right direction by critically rethinking everything assumed to be true about what it means to be a happy, healthy, prosperous being. To learn more about her work visit http://www.realitymanifest.com
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