Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Loving Your Self Better!
Confessions of a Bald Headed Diva

By Tonya K. Freeman

It happened a few years ago. I had four years of locs, cascading down onto my shoulders. Beautiful, strong locs that were decorated with precious stones to keep the energy as clear as possible. I was happy with my locs. It was a cultural recognition that I enjoyed to the utmost.
Then one day, I decided to shave my head. You see, there was a brother whom I had dated for awhile who locked my hair for me and when we parted ways, whenever we did see one another, the energy was completely off center. I had been told many years before that one must be careful who they have work on their hair. So, I figured, if I shaved my head, the energy that was not in harmony with my true nature would be dispelled.
It was off to the beauty parlor I went. I'll never forget the look on the beautician's face when I told him I wanted to shave my head bald. He said to me, “I put hair in, not take it off!” So I headed across the street to the barber shop and had my locs shaved there. It felt good to be bald. I felt free, powerful, sexy and sassy all at the same time. To coin a phrase, “I am not my hair!”

One of the women who had a business in the marketplace along with me, asked me why I had shaved my head. I responded, “I was running through the forest and didn't want to get my locs tangled in the branches of the trees.” She then asked, “Were you running or moving swiftly?” I thought for a moment and then said, “I was moving swiftly.”
Oh, I almost forgot to tell you, after I shaved my head, I never saw my ex lover again. Talk about removing energy.
 The reaction of people that saw me that day was quite interesting. Men seemed to be impressed that I would do such a thing and stated that I must be a powerful woman to choose a bald look for myself. One young man even asked to rub my head. I laughed and let him. Hey, he was bald too, so rub for rub. I kept my locs. It never occurred to me to leave them laying on the floor of the barber shop. I took them home, smudged them clean and put them away. I had no idea that one day I would be guided to make a doll stuffed with my locs – well, not all of them. This type of doll is called a Mirror Doll. I sewed some of the locs to her head as well. She sits on my altar and when I am moved to do healing work on myself and cannot reach a particular area, I work with my doll. Sometimes, I meditate with her in my lap, other times I talk to her and share things that are on my heart that I don't want to share with anyone else. I read about the Mirror Doll in Luisah Teisch's book Jambalaya.
It was not for anyone except myself that I wanted this freedom, to free my dome. I didn't care what anyone thought and I still don't. Some people have asked me if I had chemo. No is the answer to that question. I let them know, I am a Bald Headed Diva by choice and I love it! I shave with a Gillette razor every two days and afterward, I rub either alcohol or a mixture of lavender and chamomile essential oil blended with sesame oil on my head. I much prefer the essential oil blend because it is more natural and doesn't burn yet acts as an antiseptic to protect my head and heal any cuts that I might get. Sometimes I do nick myself.
My husband of ten years has seen me with locs, bald, wigs, a short fro and now bald again and he has loved every look that I chose for myself at the time. His statement, “Never tell a woman what to do with her hair.” It has been four years now that I have been bald. There is no desire to grow my hair back again. I am happy with who I am, as I am, in the skin I'm in.
Yes, I am a Bald Headed Diva by choice and I love it!

Tonya K. Freeman is a visionary, motivational speaker, bliss activist, & media personality. For more info on her work-- make a shift to bliss at: http://www.tonyakfreeman.com/


  1. Thank you so much for sharing this inspirational piece about self-love.

  2. I love it! It takes a powerful woman to be locked and a powerful woman to be bald...and you wear it beautifully. Thanks for sharing.

  3. Tonya Freeman is one more strong and beautifully powerful woman! I am honored to be right here tonight, reading her story. Her face is strikingly lovely, and I am certain had I heard her speak, she'd be equally as impressive!

    Thanking the Goddess for Queen's like Tonya!


  4. This was an absolutely wonderful story & Tonya is truly a wonderful writer & inspirationalist!

  5. I didn't loose my hair by choice origionally! but I LOVE BEING BALD! and when I feel sassy I can have any hair I want! bald is sooo free! after ten+ years of cancer It is the thing that gives me attitude!

  6. Thanks for sharing your story, Diva Mama Tonya--for spreading the power of bald...