Loving Your Self Better! "Healthy-Girl"

By Kenyetta Chinwe

One day I woke up and I was the largest I had ever been in my life. I remember thinking how did I get here? How did this happen? A lot had transpired in the 10 years of my life that took me from a healthy and active 175 lbs to a tired lethargic 286 lbs. I had lost my father, fell in love, fell out of love, and fell back in love again. I had been signed to a record deal and then the company went broke. I had lost confidence and struggled to get it back. And through it all I had eaten to make myself feel better. Which usually only made me feel worse.

Now don’t get me wrong, I was never super model skinny. And I know I never will be. Body type and genetics are a reality that I came to grips with a long time ago. However, I could be and had been a health weight that allowed me the energy to do all the things I really liked to do. I no longer was. It was then that I realized that I had to take charge of what was happening in my life in order to take charge of what was happening in my body.

I got organized. I became more consistent with daily meditation and affirmations. I set goals and worked toward achieving them. And probably one of the most important of the things I did; I truly accepted my daddy was gone. I grieved the way I should have 8 years before. And by doing so I was able to heal to the point of moving forward from the point I had been stuck in since he died.

Making these changes really allowed me to embrace myself with the love I had once had. This self love encouraged me to do something about my weight. I knew that if I didn’t do something I was making myself more susceptible to the family healthy history that had taken my father from me too soon.

I have lost 40 lbs since deciding to change my situation. I still have more that I want to lose. My personal quest is more about health and self-care than vanity. But I must admit it feels good fitting into sizes I hadn’t been able to even look at in years. I feel younger. I have more energy. I feel sexier. I feel so much more like myself again.

Like I said before I know I will always be classified as a BBW (Big Beautiful Woman). But now I am feeling more like the middle B and happy about it.

Kenyetta Chinwe is the Founder & Owner of Phem Soul Arts. For more on her work visit www.phemsoulspirit.blogspot.com