Celebrity Fitness Trainer, Jai Davis

Fight like a Girl!

By Contributing Editor, Shelby Johnson

There’s something to be said about a woman who is powerful, and owns it. This “man’s world” fears an empowered woman, a woman with a sense of identity. At some point in our lives, we’ve all heard the phrase, “You fight like a girl!” used as an insult. Finally, it’s our chance to take it back. We WILL fight like girls, and kick ass in the process. Women everywhere are proving that they’re truly irrepressible, commanding the respect we deserve.

World renowned champion boxer turned firefighter, and now celebrity trainer, Jai Davis, is a more than perfect example of a woman who’s not afraid to prove the resilience of women to the world. As a natural athlete, Jai found her place in boxing by the time she got to college, easily demonstrating her inherent ability as a competitor, and one to be taken seriously. As a predominately “male” sport, there was little support for women in her career. Even though being constantly told she couldn’t, Jai fights to carve out her own place in history. With the help of a dedicated and tight-knit network of supporters, she quickly becomes one of the biggest names in women’s professional boxing.  Her natural talent shines through, allowing her to earn respect and accolades at even the highest international level, an undeniable accomplishment for anyone, especially a woman trailblazing a name in a “man’s” sport. As demand for the sport grew, she becomes accustomed to what it means to be a top competitor, keeping her dedication to succeed first in all things, gaining celebrity status. Learning to deal with the obstacles placed before her as a woman and refusing to compromise, Jai leaves behind an impressive legacy for many to come after her.

After her retirement, Jai naturally goes on to become a sought after personal trainer, with just

as much recognition of her natural ability to lead and help others work toward their fitness goals in a supportive and positive manner. However, she accounts more of her experience as a professional female athlete to be the period that prepared her most for her next major step: becoming a firefighter. Although she had experienced many different challenges as a female athlete, never had she ever faced the outright gender and sexual discrimination she would face as an openly gay woman in this field. As a competitor, it’s impossible to deny the titles one’s earned, yet in the workplace, it’s easy for a male superior to overlook or outright deny the qualifications or abilities of a woman. She had retired from boxing, but was still feeling the punches on a daily basis.

 Rather than be praised, rewarded, and respected for her merits as men do, Jai found herself being faced with unbelievable resistance, from having to ask for “special permission” not required of her male counterparts, to even face to face confrontations with superiors. As she learned throughout her boxing career, learning to rely on her own intuition, she would oftentimes have to act against her superior’s demands; whereas a man in her situation would be considered to have great integrity, just like many other women in the workplace, she was considered “insubordinate,” or even worse, the “angry black woman.” She believes it boils down to the fact that “men simply don’t want to take orders from women,” regardless of their abilities.

Fighting on a daily basis to be viewed as simply an equal to her male co-workers, Jai has gone to great lengths to ensure the continued right of all women to be respected in the workplace. As far as the recent legalization of gay marriage, she relates that this may allow more social mobility, rather than within the workplace. She goes on to say that “no one should have the right to determine who should be allowed to receive their partners benefits,” especially when lifelong, committed relationships are questioned or regarded as less legitimate. Preferring to recognize others based on their accomplishments and values rather than sexual preferences, Jai is careful to express that everyone should be allowed equality. Although it may take small steps, marginalized women and especially those in the LGBT community will finally be able to be granted their long overdue equality and respect.

This inspiring woman continues to pour back into her family, friends, and community daily. In honor of her sister, who is battling the final stages of Lupus herself, Jai will be working diligently with the Lupus Foundation as a national spokesperson to help increase awareness and support for the disorder, such as aiding to increasing bone marrow donations, and further research. As an issue that’s near to her heart, she was fiery in describing her devotion to helping those that she can. She’ll also be taking on projects and initiatives with Kid’s Choice, speaking to young ones about cherishing their bodies and minds and self-acceptance. She understands the need to speak to the youth early, helping to develop a healthy mindset for the future. As a prominent member of her community, Jai looks forward to helping serve others; rather than feeling as if she’s “punching a clock or counting the hours,” Jai has been blessed to be given the opportunity to work in fields that she feels intimately connected to.

As phenomenal proof of the strength of all women, Jai Davis continues to “fight like a girl,” making lasting change in the lives of all she encounters. With a story as remarkable as hers, it’s surprising to hear her humble voice speak of her accomplishments; in all, she stands out as a fighter for us all. As an excellent role model, she continues to do the important work of helping younger generations of girls learn how to demand respect they each deserve, both in their relationships and the workplace. As a powerful example of what potential and dedication can accomplish, Jai will continue to be a source of inspiration for many generations to come. BBB~For more information on Jai Davis, Celebrity Fitness Trainer click here to visit Body By Jai!

From the Mouths of Beautiful Babes

Photo by Jennifer Alder Photography

A Youthful Perspective on Real Beauty

By Erica Mann

"Beauty is something that lies within and radiates outward."

I am an aspiring American model and actress who is best known for her athletic background as a track and field runner. Since I was young I noticed how many people worked so hard to meet the standard of what society calls beauty. 

I always felt so fortunate because I was surrounded by women who were confident in themselves and stood strong in what they believed in. The women in my life stood out in their achievements such as becoming presidents and leaders of organizations, owning their own businesses and even a graduate from Harvard. Although I had great examples of women who saw themselves as beautiful and had beautiful hearts, the great example of men that would treat women like ladies and respect them as women also made a difference. These great examples loved the women in their lives as they were with flaws and all. Experiencing this, I knew I did not have to change for anyone. 

I knew that I was made for a reason and I used that to my advantage. I was taller than most so I started playing sports and did pretty well in it, with the support of my dad, older brother and great coaches. I also started modeling. The natural state of my hair was kinky and curly so I started a forum on facebook called “The Natural Hair Support Group” with a few of my peers. I learned to embrace myself the way that I was and know that I was made for a purpose. 

"The two main influences in my life were my father and mother. The things that they did to ensure I was taken care of made me feel worth more than what any amount of money could buy."

Many people approached me saying “Are those your parents? They are so nice.” Which made me feel so proud of them and reminded me how kindness can go a long way? The love and support that I received from my parents made me feel that I could do anything in the world with no limitation. For this I give honor to God because my parents worked to live according to the Word. No they were not perfect, but I knew that they tried the best they knew how to support and take care of their family.

The ability to give hope to someone and comfort someone is beautiful. To encourage them to live their dreams, to treat others with kindness and share the Love of Christ is beauty that cannot be applied with a brush. It comes from within, and when you see yourself as beautiful others will too. It has always been very important to me not to let life situations change how beautiful I can be on the inside. Being able to brighten someone’s day just by your presence is so rewarding. You never know what the people you come in contact with have been through. To smile at someone and spread joy is a beautiful thing.

That is where my beauty stems from, the great examples of family and friends that allowed Jesus to use them. They have shown their love and kindness in ways that have made differences in people’s lives. Everyone has something unique to offer, and to acknowledge that and use it instead of hiding it because of what the world may say is acceptable, is beautiful.

“Don’t let people stop you from being who you are and never let negative situations make you bitter and treat other people ugly. It’s not worth it.”

One of My favorite quotes:
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. You’re playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”- Marianne Williamson

So, shine the way God intended for YOU to shine and let beauty speak for itself.

For more information on Erica Mann follow her on Facebook/twitter or visit her blog at www.EricaExperience.blogspot.com 

An Introduction 2 Real Beauty...

By Editor,
Xina Sy

I am both strange & beautiful…

This I know for sure! 

Most of my life I have felt “different.” Unable to wrap words around the contrast between myself & others, it was just something I lived with. I learned to reside with & within the awkwardness of my own unusualness & never really thought much about it. Ok, that was a lie. I thought about it. I thought about it every minute of every day & every second of my life I felt like a misfit; unwanted, unloved, & mostly, unattractive.

My earliest memory of being beauty-challenged was of one summer at the KIK pool. I was in the 8^th grade. This beautiful, popular boy swam over to the side of the pool where myself & this gorgeous, then very popular chick sat, kicking our feet in the water in our one-pieces. He arrived with a group of friends, because that’s how cool boys travel, & landed by my side & suavely said, “Hey pretty girl!” I blushed & offered a very gitty, “Hey yourself!” Him & his friends laughed uproariously as he almost shouted, “Not you, you ole’ ugly ass!”

I melted into the water & floated away on the raft of what was left of my low-self-esteem. My heart was broken. The memory became a chink in my own armor of self-worth & I was confused & confounded about what real beauty really was…forever.

The world says many things about beauty. In some cultures, beauty is defined by size two models, which walk runways in 6 inch heels & become fantasies of men’s desires & women’s aspirations. In yet another culture, beauty is defined by dictates that define women’s weight by the level of wealth their family has…the fatter the girl the fatter their father’s wallets. And, in yet another culture, beauty is defined by the purity of a girl, the cost of her dowry; her families lineage.  However defined, beauty comes in all shapes & sizes & hues & backgrounds & economical statuses…none of which has much to do with beauty at all, which is all the more reason that we have to define it for ourselves.

I am both strange & beautiful…this I know for sure! Why strange? I dunno…maybe it’s because I’m damn near 6 feet tall in heels & bald! Maybe it’s because my face is so expressive (friends & family are always telling me to “fix my face”)! Maybe it’s because I have never fit in, never followed the crowd & have always been determined to pave my own way…no matter what! But, just maybe it’s because I just don’t fit any type of stereotypical anything because there is no category for a BIG, BOLD, BEAUTIFUL, BLACK woman with the tenacity of a snapping turtle & a smile that would melt the sun. Whatever the reason…I am finally ok with not just being another pretty face.

How do YOU define REAL beauty? Chime in…

For special delivery of my upcoming new release e-book, “Don’t Hate Me Because I’m Beautiful: Redefining Beauty from Head to Toe” w/ special notes from the author (ME) please click: BUY NOW! It will be delivered to your email box on February 1^st! Be Beautiful!

Healing During the Holidays...

Journal Your Way Through

By Contributor,
Angela B. Thompson

‘Tis the Season for Journaling!

 

Some of us find the holidays one of the most enjoyable times of the year, while others find it a very difficult time to get through because of personal, financial or emotional concerns. Through journaling you can record your thoughts, dreams, emotions, aspirations, fears, triumphs and experiences in a small writing book, PC, electronic tablet, or notebook. 

Journaling is self expressive.  No one is looking over your shoulder.  So you do not have to be concerned with grammar or spelling. It’s an intimate way to be self-expressive with SELF. If you can look at your situation(s) in a mature way, what would you change?

The psychological definition for the term MATURITY is used to indicate how a person responds to the circumstances or environment in an appropriate manner (Wikipedia.com). What’s appropriate to one may not necessarily be appropriate to another.  That’s the beauty in journaling.  You can be as free and expressive as you want!

No matter how old one becomes there is always a lesson to be learned.  There is something to be said about the process of maturity.  Not necessarily with age comes maturity, but maturity is an aged process. 

Living in a world that has embraced the fast pace, everything has to be quick, fast and in a hurry in order to be a measure of importance and value.  There are some things that are learned in progression, over a period of time.  Take for instance, any fine cook or chef will tell you that from experience some of the most delectable meals are made on a slow burner, savoring the essence and the flavor of that particular dish; allowing the natural flavoring, the nectar and nutrients to deliciously blend together. 

Journaling Exercise 1:

Question:  What areas of your life do you need to put on the slow burner, add some spice to and stir up?  Take as long as you like to freewrite (write without stopping) any thoughts that come to mind after reading this question.  Don’t worry about the grammar, spelling or forming complete sentences.  Express yourself freely and naturally. Just as a fine wine once aged is sipped and hits the palate; or the magnificence of the morning glory flower covered with dew unfolding its beauty at daybreak; or the conception of life, the act of birth, and the nurturing of our children- these progressions cannot be appreciated without the necessary steps preceding its natural order. 

 

Through journaling you can form a creative expression that gives you the opportunity to turn the filter off to openly listen and communicate with yourself (emotionally, socially and wholly) while working through your holiday challenges.

Journaling Exercise 2:

Instead of complaining about life’s little lessons, how about taking the mature route and plan a better future for 2013?  List five things that you want to accomplish next year and what resources you may need to accomplish your goals in year 2013. 

Happy Journaling!~~

Angela B. Thompson is an author and expressive writing coach.  She believes in the power of words transforming the ordinary to extraordinary.  She teaches others to find their own creative expression through their written inspiration.   For more info on her work—express yourself at: www.realyricals.weebly.com

Tis the Season to...

COLOR ME HAPPY

By Stephanie Rainbow Bell

Let's start at the beginning shall we?

The definition of HAPPY is:

hap·py/ˈhapē/

Adjective:	.       Feeling or showing pleasure or contentment,    and/or            Having a sense of confidence in or satisfaction with (a person, arrangement, or situation).
Synonyms:	glad - fortunate - joyful - lucky - merry - cheerful

I believe HAPPY is a "state of mind" and is independent of circumstance!

Big, Bold Statement YES?

YES!

In my world, it IS possible to be HAPPY even if you are out of work, sick and/or lonely.  Or you can fill in whatever [negative] situation you'd like.

No – I am NOT crazy.

I totally get that if you have health issues, your bank account is empty and your house may be too that you could choose to feel sorry for yourself and say that your situation makes it impossible for you to be happy.

But that's my point entirely.

Happiness is a CHOICE.

And so is Unhappiness.

It's all in your perspective.

And your perspective is always YOUR CHOICE.

To be happy you just have to feel pleasure, contentment (peace), glad, fortunate, joyful or lucky! And one of the quickest routes to get to those feelings is via GRATITUDE! Being HAPPY is easy when you feel GRATEFUL. And we ALL have something to be grateful for if we choose to look for it.

There's that "CHOICE" word again!

Because I grant you --- when you are sick and broke and lonely --- it's not always EASY to look for something to be grateful for.  But that doesn't mean it's not POSSIBLE!

You have to decide how you want to feel in any given moment.

That choice is ALWAYS up to you.

With a few possible exceptions . . . . like . . .

You are being chased by a bear . . .  or

Your pants are on fire . . .

Seriously --- as humans we are hard-wired for "fight or flight" instinct – so when you are in physical danger, the adrenaline kicks in as well as a bunch of other chemical stimulators and you do what you have to protect yourself (or your loved one) from imminent danger.

But even in imminent danger you have a choice to be calm.  Maybe not happy . . . but calm. You have the choice if you practice being calm in your life on a daily basis. And the same is true for HAPPY and GRATEFUL. On a daily basis, you can choose to look for things to be grateful for.

Like the fact you are breathing.  Or the sun came up today.  Or that the stars twinkle.  Or the birds sing sweet songs.  Or your fur angel (aka dog, cat).

Once you find SOMETHING to be grateful for – happiness is only a skosh (teeny step) away!

How can you not be happy petting your pooch?

How can you not be happy feeling the warmth of the sun on your skin?

Oh sure, I'm certain some of the skeptics out there can find scenarios to be miserable.  And that's their choice.

We all get to choose.

So what will your choice be?

Rainbow Blessings of Great Happiness To You!~

If you feel stressed, depressed or pissed off about your body, career, bank balance or relationships, STEPHANIE RAINBOW BELL will get you back into alignment with your Divine Greatness. A best-selling Author, inspiring Speaker and respected Mentor/Coach, Stephanie re-connects you with your inherent Brilliance so you can stop struggling and get on with manifesting your heart's desires.  Become a VIP and be one of the first to receive your ALIGN & SHINE YOUR GREATNESS Analysis (soon to be released) at www.StephanieRainbowBell.com.

When She Walks Into the Room

How a Beautiful Woman Handles Her Business

By Dr. Gail Hayes

There are many things that can be said about a beautiful woman; a woman who walks unapologetically in her power. So, here is a tribute to all the beautiful, powerful women who can hold their position with grace; stand in the spotlight with dignity; and love intensely without fear.

She walks into a room and discrimination’s Red Sea parts. She takes your hand and leads you across the floor into the Promised Land of new ideas and new experiences. Fear leaves as she teaches you how to march around the walls of Jericho like a lady, and when the walls fall, how to take up the spoils of your victory like a woman warrior. 

She reaches inside your damaged heart and removes the thorns of self doubt and stops the bleeding of self-inflicted pain. Her words silence negative forces; causes them to be caught up in the fury of her positive wind.

She lets you know, with one look, that you are destined for greatness but holds your hand because she knows that you still need help getting there. She can tell you where you live although she has never visited you. She can decorate the rooms of your life with such brilliance that you don’t mind if she changes your color scheme.

She shows you how to transform your weaknesses into life-transforming victories. She helps you to see your faults while still be able to experience your greatness. And when greatness frightens you, she puts her hand in your back and gently pushes you into the glorious waves of your unknown future.

She understands that she is a bridge and that it was necessary for others to walk across the landscape of her life in order to complete their journey. But she also understands that there were times when a toll must be paid by those who dare to cross.  Transforming lives is an art to her. Wisdom, a driving force. Encouragement, her life’s fire. Impartation and humility, the powers that guide her. Her hands are like the potter when it came to shaping the existence of others. Her mind is sharper than a surgeon’s scalpel when it comes to removing obstacles. Her heart is generous beyond reason yet frugal when teaching life lessons. Her will, as strong as steel but her love is as gentle as baby’s breath.

She illuminates your life with her fire and teaches you the strength of independence while embracing the beauty of dependence upon others. She holds up the mirror of femininity and tells you that you are beautiful, awesome beyond your knowledge, and filled with promise.

Remember that when you first hear these words, they may be foreign to your ears and you may not grasp their meaning. But life uses experiences as a whipping post leaves open wounds. Healing only comes by pouring the honey of positive words spoken over your life. They silence the whipping post. They stop hatred’s blood bath. They rescue the trapped little girl and they release the woman trying to catch the breath of her new found freedom.

I had such words spoken to me. As I matured, they seeped into the hurting places and healed the open wounds the whipping post left behind. Becoming a woman was no longer something I read about. I lived it. And now, because another woman stopped to touch my life, I can now touch my daughter and other women with tomorrow’s fire. Now, I can walk free and untie the hands of women still bound to the whipping post. I can now allow others to walk across my shoulders to destiny.~

Dr. Gail is the CEO of the Handle Your Business Girl Empowerment Zone, a community where she and her team of Master Life Coaches help others live empowered lives. She is also the author of several books including One Minute Success Secrets for Women and The Power of a Woman Who Leads, and You are a Daughter of the King. She is also the creator of Dr. Gail’s Purpose Points, an empowerment card collection designed to inspire and encourage others to walk in destiny. Although she has lived on three continents, she will quickly let you know that her favorite place on earth is wherever she and her children can laugh and love. For more on her work click & visit: www.handleyourbusinessgirl.com 

Feng Shui 4 A Beautiful Life

How the Art of Feng Shui Can Improve Your Life

by Contributor, Allison Carrie Moss

As we move towards a new year, it is a perfect time to pursue your passions and create positive change! Are you ready to move forward and become the best YOU that you can be? There is a powerful tool available to you right now, at this moment, "The Art of Feng Shui!"

Your environment can create positive or negative experiences in your life. Knowing how to create the best surroundings possible, can go a long way toward supporting the changes that you desire to make, and move you forward toward realizing your dreams.

"To Change Your Life, Move 27 Things in Your Home."

~ Ancient Chinese Proverb

Feng Shui is the powerful ancient Chinese "Art of Placement."  The beautiful thing about Feng Shui is that it WORKS for everyone without challenging any belief system or cultural practice. Working with colors, design cures and even clutter clearing will move you forward toward your goals and desires in powerful ways. Yes, it can be as simple as moving 27 things in your home!

Each and every living and nonliving thing on earth has its own energy flow, no matter how subtle. Harnessing this natural energy, or Ch’i, and directing it in balanced ways throughout your home, is the key to bringing harmonious change into your life.

Ch’i follows a natural path through each and every home, building, structure or property. The Ba Gu’a map is the Feng Shui tool utilized to discover where each life area falls within a building. The actual front door of a structure is the “mouth of Ch’i”, where all energy enters. The door is the Career life area on the Ba Gu’a map and is aligned with the front wall of a building.

As Ch’i flows into and through an environment on its natural path, it can become blocked, stagnant or hindered by items that are sitting or stored in its way. The key to Feng Shui is to create an open path for this energy to flow, boosting your life areas along its way.

Allowing your environment to support your life can create powerful positive change in many ways. A few examples are: Improved relationships, better career opportunities, positive financial gains, better health, and even a deeper sense of self-awareness!

 Taking a few small steps:

(Remember the 27 things!)

Your Feng Shui journey can begin by taking a few small steps to create supportive energy in your home. Do you desire to generate a positive flow in your finances? Begin at the front door! Take a look at your entrance way with “new eyes.” Walking by the same things day in and day out can cause them to become nearly invisible. Take notice of the outside path leading to your front door. Is it clear, welcoming and well lit at night? Is your house number clearly visible from the road? As the front door is the entrance for energy entering your home it is vital to welcome it in, just as you would welcome a family member or guest. Define your entrance well and jump start your Ch’i flow. If you have a garage or side door that you use to enter and exit, bypassing your front door all together, make certain to take the time to pass through your FRONT entrance a few times per week. This ONE change can generate huge results!

Once you enter the front door, walk through your home as if you were a flowing breeze. Just wander along the natural path and see what you notice. Do obstacles jump out at you? Do you have to maneuver around things or squeeze through a door that won’t quite open all of the way due to too much “stuff?” Relocate anything you find along your path, which hinders your progress.

As you move through on your walk, pause as you reach the left rear corner of your home. This is your Wealth and Prosperity area! Note any clutter, take stock of the actual rooms and their uses, as well as the colors which surround you. For ANY area of your home, these will be the first steps to follow on your journey. Clear any clutter, make the most of the space within and add the colors which correspond to the life area you desire to improve. For Wealth and Prosperity, add decor in the colors of Blues, Reds and Purples. It can be THAT simple!

By the time you do your walk, move a few obstacles and add a few decorative items you will have easily moved 27 things! It is so simple and so powerful to create positive change!

The Art of Feng Shui is an amazing tool available to you right now, at THIS moment! Creating an environment which not only supports you physically, but also emotionally, spiritually and financially is an empowering accomplishment! Make 2013 the best year ever, by beginning your Feng Shui Experience one small step at a time!~

Allison Moss is the founder of A Feng Shui Experience, a writer, public speaker and creative spirit. Her philosophy is one of positive attitude and positive energy. Once a person believes that they can create new experiences in their lives, through positive attitude and focus, amazing things quickly take place! Her own personal journey has helped to create the powerful tools she shares. Her Feng Shui practice, A Feng Shui Experience, fuses Eastern Philosophy with Western Culture in an exciting and unique way. Creating environments which support the goals and dreams of those within, while nurturing personal empowerment, defines the focus of Allison's work. Allison resides near the mountains of Greenville, S.C. with her amazing husband, beautiful children and extremely entertaining pets. For more on her work  click & visit: The Feng Shui Experience on Face Book 

Love, Sex, & Relationships

The First Steps to Unlocking a Man's Love Code

By Contributor, Cyndi Harris

Men… delightful, scrumptious, and wonderful men; I love men. I think they are amazing and interesting. I love the way they look, sound, and process life, but if loving a man has ever left you feeling confused and frustrated. You are not alone. I admit, men can be some of the most mysterious “creatures” at times. We love them, long for them, and at times want to shake them until some type of emotional response occurs. What is a woman to do?

Well, if you are interested in cracking a man’s love code, I have a few simple answers that will point you in the right direction. But first, I have a couple of questions for you. Then, I am going to offer you a few suggestions that will help you get closer to almost any man.

Here's some questions:

 Do you like men? Not only in a romantic sense, but overall?

 Do you respect men?

Yes, these questions are unusual, but I have a very specific reason for asking them. If you want to get inside the mind of a man, you must first understand what is important to him. And yes ladies, sex is important. Goodness ladies, you have such a one-track mind. Granted, it is a delightful “track”. But, a wise woman knows there is more to a man’s needs than simply sex. If you really want to get close to a man and have him open up to you; he must know that you like and respect him.

Sex is an easy way out and far too available in our modern society.

 It is important, but in the beginning of a relationship and beyond, if you want a man to see you as something more than a sex object then, you must let him know you have a sincere interest in him as a man; show him that you think he is fascinating and that you admire him. Sounds a bit old-fashioned, right? Maybe, but we put so much pressure on ourselves to appear a certain way or trying to beat men at their own “game”. We can easily forget to relax and simply get to know a man person to person. 

For starters whether you are just meeting a man or have known him for sometime find out:

        What are his interests? (Even if you think you know; ask anyway. He may have changed interests or has learned something new about an old one he would love to share with you.)

       Who does he admire and why? (This is a big one. It will offer insight into the type of man who is striving to be. Listen carefully to his answers and do some research of your own about the person or people he mentions.)

       What are his ambitions? (Listen with an open-mind, even if you think his ambitions are impossible or unrealistic. They are his dreams; be supportive.)

Understanding how to ask good questions is an art of communication that is underestimated. When you show a real interest in a man as a person; a man will find you fascinating as well.

Here’s the fun part; when you follow my suggestions, a man will find himself thinking about you and he will find a reason; a deep need to spend more time with you. Because, for him, he will have found a woman with good taste and an elegant ease to her personality that he finds attractive and makes him feel good.

Does this sound too simple? Well, if you want to become a man magnet whose beauty, intelligence, and sensuality makes you unforgettable? Give it a try, think about the reasons you like men and the ways you can show a man true respect, think of some basic questions you can ask (or use the ones provided in this article), and watch what happens. I can guarantee you will notice a change in the way men respond to you and how you respond to them. It will become easier and you will be able to pick and choose the type of men you invite into your life. Whether that is a new love interest, a new friend, or reigniting the romance between you and your current man; you now have taken the first steps to cracking a man’s love code. Enjoy and we will talk soon Sending you much love and unlimited joy!

Cyndi Harris is a high priestess of love, 21^st century sex goddess extraordinaire, and intimacy creation savant; who specializes in helping women (and men) reawaken playful passion, luxurious, and soulful love in their lives. She believes that life and love are filled with so many magical moments that get lost in the process of day to day living. And she knows; that NOW is the time to move past the mundane, set your intention, and allow yourself to receive what you truly desire in life and love. For more info on Cyndi's work visit: www.redtentwisdom.com 

What is REAL Beauty?

By New Contributing Editor, Rebecca Hillegeist 

Beauty is a subject I have been exploring and observing for over 25 years.  I have studied different cultures, got into peoples lives, observed the media, watched my circle of friends and most of all, I have learned to be friends with myself.  Keep in mind while reading that my mother was abused while pregnant with me, I was born into abuse and drugs, adopted in elementary school, brought up in a strict southern baptist home, married a physically abusive man, was a single mother, married an emotionally abusive man, became a single mother again, almost died 3 times and then spent a few years physically alone...working on finding and rebuilding me.  I just turned 39.

My conclusion is that real beauty is about integration--collecting all the shattered pieces of yourself and becoming whole.

We are a soul with a body, not the other way around.  We are born whole beings and while traveling this wonderful world, we experience trauma--this is just part of life.  Each time we experience something traumatic we shield our heart and leave pieces of our soul scattered until we deal with the issues at hand.  Dealing with hurt is not something I was taught to do.  I had to live though some very traumatic experiences in order to "get it".  My warrior self had to rise up and on purpose take back all the power I gave away.  I had to learn to be my own hero.  

The last 5 years, I have learned to quiet my mind and open my heart totally.  I have learned to forgive my abusers and realized that hurt people, hurt people.  I have learned that people do the very best they can do, with what they are given and if they knew better, they would have done better.  Hating them only hurt me and kept me stuck in time.  It has been said that holding a grudge is like eating rat poison and expecting the rat to die.  I was the one slowing dying.

Beauty is authentic, not fake. If your heart is not clouded, then you can see beauty all around.

I was taught in my early 20's to "fake it till you make it" and yes, as a gorgeous woman in man's world I got my way!  On the surface I had it all, but what people didn't know was that I was dying inside from all the trauma that was never dealt with.  I never saw the beauty all around me.  I was stressed.  I lost friends. I couldn't be alone and most of all, I missed being a mother.  I was miserable and people didn't even know it.  I went through a midlife crisis at 28.

Beauty comes from inside and radiates out into your energy field--this energy is what create your reality.

When we do not deal with the trauma's in life, our heart is clouded and therefore we can not manifest the highest and best for our life. We continue to replay experiences until we learn the lesson needed.  We are vibrational beings and we always attract into our life what we are.  Look around, do you see things you do not like?  If so, look inside yourself and find what it is you need to deal with, confront it and then let it go.  You will be glad you did.

I am thankful for learning the lessons I have at such a young age.  I look better now than I did 10 years ago.  I am alive, vibrant and yes--oh so BEAUTIFUL! 

We are so excited to welcome new Contributing Editor, Rebecca Hillegeist to The Big, Bold, Beautiful Blog! Rebecca is an emotionally & socially i

ntelligent Visionary Leader with a heart of gold. Her specialty is Community & Business Psychology. She does whatever it takes to live her dream and has helped countless others in living theirs. She is a lover who savors the moment--tasting each experience like it is the first bite. She is a creator who realizes the value of co-creation. She is a provider of healing--nurturing herself to the point of overflowing--serving her water to the thirsty. She is a connector--totally connected to the ultimate life force. Her gifts combine Eastern and Western philosophies, allowing her to communicate in a multi-dimensional way. For more info on Rebecca & her work CLICK HERE!

The Voice of Beauty

By Contributor, Dee Thompson

A journey to the Grammys doesn’t always begin with a lot of cash and an entourage. Sometimes it begins simply with a huge talent, a lot of perseverance, and a dream.

Rajdulari (she doesn’t use her last name professionally) is a lady who has made it her mission to dream big. Since the release of her debut solo CD "Honeywine", Raj knows it’s her best shot at making that Grammy dream a reality.

Life hasn’t always been a smooth ride. “Raj” as her friends call her, was born in Baltimore, raised by a single mom and spent much of her childhood in Michigan. Although her name is a Hindi word meaning “daughter of a king,” there wasn’t always much money when she was growing up, but there was plenty of music. “My mom always listened to jazz when I was younger.”

“I left home at 17 and worked for ten years before going back to school at age 26.” She was accepted at the very prestigious Berklee College of Music in Boston. On Berklee: “I was really intimidated at first, thinking all these people sang better than I did, but after I went for a while I started to find my own voice. Being around all those musicians actually helped me to be more myself.”

Raj isn’t a tiny lady. She is all about curves, and she’s proud of her body. “Who I am is part and parcel of my music. It’s important for young women to see they can be whoever they are. I embrace my curves! Thank goodness mainstream media is finally starting to promote curvy women – look at Toccara Jones, Queen Latifah, Jill Scott.” Just like the singers who inspire her, Raj isn’t about easy labels. “I love Diane Reeves and Bobby McFerrin, Jill Scott, Chaka Khan. Those are some of the folks I listen to for inspiration.”

Raj has no aspirations to be a pop singer. She’s a jazz vocalist.

Raj recently moved to New York City, completely unfamiliar with the city and knowing only a few friends. It was a huge leap of faith. She knew however that if she answered the call to follow her dream, she would have an “enriched life.” She quickly found her way, and let her voice be heard. She now works in an office during the day, but loves to sing after hours. She’s been appearing a lot at a little club called Billie’s Black.

Her CD was a labor of love. Raj’s musician friends helped her record it, but it’s a polished effort. She wasn’t going to sit around and wait to be “discovered,” either. “I don’t need anybody to hand me anything. This music is my baby. I need to share it with people.”

If you listen to “Honeywine” you will quickly learn that Raj has an amazing voice, and she paints music with a broad palette. “When I decided to branch out, I knew I wanted to do fusion. Music is a language with a lot of colors.”

Raj wrote most of the songs on “Honeywine,” and she is justifiably proud of her accomplishment. Every song has particular meaning for her.  “My favorite song on the album is “Purpose.” It really outlines my mission. It’s important for any dream that you CLAIM it. When I listen to “Purpose” it reminds me of who I am and what I want!”

“America” is a love song for America. What beauty we have here. There is even beauty in our differences. Despite all the problems in the country, we need each other.  We need to celebrate each other.”

Why should someone buy Honeywine? “It’s not something you’ve heard before. I really want people to feel like I’m giving them jewels from my heart and to be as excited about the music as I am.”

The title of her album was a very deliberate choice for Raj.

“Honeywine is actually an Ethiopian wine, very sweet, almost like a desert wine. You take a sip and think, "ok that’s nice", but then you want more and more. I want people to listen to my songs like that, to hear them over and over until the message in the songs sneaks up on them, just like the honeywine.”

Rajdulari may not be an easy name to pronounce, but it’s worth the effort. Some Grammy presenter will have a fun time with it one day. Take a taste of "Honeywine" – you’ll want more and more, I predict.~BBB 

For more info on Rajdulari Barnes visit: www.rajdulari.com